Life And Times -
Marriage Matters! Or Does It?

The Day for Love has just passed . . .

And now everyone is contemplating the subject of marriage!

If you're single, you're wondering if you'll ever find that "Special Someone" and get married.
If you're dating someone exclusively, you're wondering if they're going to pop the question or if they're waiting for you to pop the question.
If you're married, you're wondering how to keep the marriage in tact, or possibly if you want the marriage to stay in tact.

Which is what has prompted this blog . . .
Marriage Matters! Or Does It?

Does the wedding ceremony, the rings, the vows, the marriage license ensure that your love will endure until "Death Do You Part"? Does it mean that there is no other person in the world your mate is attracted to?

As someone who has been married and divorced (8 years), engaged (6 years), and in a committed relationship (2 1/12 years), I say it all depends on the people involved in the relationship.

Having that piece of paper didn't keep my partner faithful, nor did it keep him from blowing money, nor did it stop him from being abusive physically! What it did do is make it harder for me to get away from someone whose personality did a 180 degree turn after the vows were spoken. In fact in order for me to gain my freedom, I had to leave my job, my home, and move over 1200 miles away, and it still took me 3 years to get a divorce and we won't even discuss how much it cost me financially.

Having that ring on my finger with the promise of a marriage to come didn't keep my partner faithful, nor did it keep from blowing money, nor did it stop him from being abusive mentally! However, gaining my freedom was much easier! I just simply had to move out of the house we shared.

Marriage License

A Marriage License, in a sense, has the same value has a college degree . . .
It's a piece of paper that says you at some point you committed to complete a series of steps/prerequisites to achieve a specific result - marriage or graduation . . .
But it doesn't mean that you plan to honor that commitment until your last breath is taken.

Am I against marriage?

No! Not At All!

I just don't believe that "He doesn't really love you if he doesn't marry you."

Marriage is great if the relationship before the marriage is great!

Marriage can be a "Death Sentence" if you marry someone you don't know, and it takes time to get to know someone.
It takes open and honest communication in order for a relationship to work, with or without the marriage license. And you must be open and honest with yourself first and then with your mate!
You have to willing to accept your mates flaws and they have to be willing to accept yours.
You have to be willing to support your mates dreams, desires, and goals, and they have to be willing to support yours!

There is no Definitive Timeline for getting married!

And don't let anyone talk you into a marriage you're not ready for Mentally, Spiritually, or Financially!

The process of getting to know someone is different for a variety of different reasons.

How many times you've been hurt in your life, and your ability to trust people.

How many times the other person has been hurt in life, and their ability to trust people.

Have you taken the time to heal after the end of each relationship, or have you just jumped right into the next relationship with an open wound that was further damaged by the next person you let in your life. We often don't allow ourselves to heal from the emotional pain of a failed relationship before engaging in another relationship, and are sometimes unaware that we are giving the new person the knife to do further damage to our emotional psyche.

All of the above is often referred to as Baggage. And if you're carrying more than a backpack into a new relationship, you're carrying to much and you need to release that baggage by healing yourself mentally and spiritually.

Love Yourself First!

If you don't love you, you're going to find it hard to believe that anyone else can love you and you open yourself up to become an unwilling participant in an unhealthy relationship!

You have to find self-contentment before you can be content with anyone else, and a marriage license can't/won't give you that.

I had a lot of emotional baggage that I needed to sort through and deal with from past relationships and my relationships with my family, of not feeling worthy of love from anyone, of not knowing myself thus unable to love myself. Once you are healthy emotionally, then and only then, can you have a healthy relationship with anyone else, and that relationship with prosper with or without a marriage license.

If your partner respects you and you respect them, if they are 100% committed to you and you are 100% committed to them, if the two of you have built a life together and in love with each other Heart, Body, and Soul . . .
Marriage Matter?

What does it change about your relationship?

What does that little piece of paper do to the dynamic of your relationship?

Marriage Matters! Or Does It?


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