Life And Times
You Want What? Marriage, Divorce, Settlement

The Mary J. Blige divorce filing and subsequent alimony request from her estranged husband Kendu Issacs got me to thinking and searching the Internet concerning questionable divorce settlement requests, and thus the birthing of this blog entry.

Mary is not the first celebrity who's non-celebrity spouse has asked for a questionable settlement amount via divorce.

Sherri Shepherd's husband Lamar Sally asked for over $4000 in child support for their child who was born via a surrogate.

Sheree Whitfield of Real Housewives of Atlanta fame was hoping to get a seven figure settlement from her estranged husband ex-NFL player Bob Whitfield.

Those are just three isolated examples of proceedings that made me say, "You want what?"

Followed by the following questions:

Why no pre-nup?

Don't hit me with the "They were in love.", "They knew they were going to be together forever.", "That's so heartless and callous.", or any other statement along those lines.

You love living but you have a life insurance policy (or at least you should), right?
You know you're a good driver but you have auto insurance (or at least you should), right?

Ain't nothing in this world promised to stay as it is upon your first encounter, so wouldn't it be wise to have insurance just in case the unthinkable happens?

So again, why no pre-nup? What about that person made you think it was okay not protect yourself financially? And that's on the parts of both people.
Scratching your head saying huh, aren't you?

If you are the person with the "large income", why would you not have an airtight pre-nup just in case the person turns out not to be whom you believed them to be? Or in the advent you turn out not to be the person they believed you to be? I mean you more than likely have "elevated" their lifestyle, and most courts will say you must provide them with enough funds so that they may "maintain the lifestyle to which you afforded them and that they have come accustomed to" which means you're going to come out of pocket with a hefty sum. I'm not working my butt off to build a million dollar plus empire for someone to just walk off with a chunk of it.

If you're the person without the "large income", why would you not have an airtight pre-nup just in case the person turns out not to be whom you believed them to be? Or in the advent you turn out not to be the person they believed you to be? Unless of course you're getting a monthly stipend that you are squirreling away in an account your spouse doesn't have access to and securing credit in your name alone, or creating a business where you are the primary shareholder, you are setting yourself up to be Cinderella/Cinderfella - banished to the basement sweeping floors and washing dishes in exchange for a place to stay and left wearing tattered rags for clothes.

I'm just saying, protect yourself.

Who were you before we met?

So, as I'm reading these alimony/child support requests, I start thinking, "Well who were you before you got married? And why can't you live without your spouse's money?"

Kendu Issacs is reportedly an American music producer and manager, but isn't linked to any artists careers other than Mary J. He divorced his 1st wife in 1999 and married Mary J in 2003, so how was he living during that time? We it has been reported that he was in a relationship with Queen Latifah from 1992 to 2001, but he was still married and had three children with 1st wife. How Sway? He has also been linked with other celebrities romantically prior to marrying Mary, but none in a professional capacity. And on top of that, no one knows when or where this man was born. Anybody besides me see some red flags here?

Lamar Sally is listed as a working television writer, but doesn't it seem odd that the 2 shows he's know for are 9 years apart in age? I can't much to do with his marriage to Sherri as one was on the air in 2004 and the other aired in 2013, and they married in 2011. And other than that is nothing more to find on Lamar. Again, red flags? Anybody?

Sheree Whitfield has been known to dibble and dabble in the fashion world, but doesn't appear to have any longevity to her dibbles and dabbles. She owned an upscale clothing boutique in Atlanta prior to marrying Bob, and the only information I could find about was a few Yelp reviews on the now closed boutique. In the midst of divorcing Bob, she tried to launch her own clothing line She by Sheree which never got off the ground back in 200? and the latest statement she made about the clothing line was back in 2016, and in the words of Dwight "We still have no fashions." She has her real estate license and reportedly does well in that field, and to the point that she reportedly pitched the reality show Selling It In the Atl to an RHOA producer who took the idea and ran with it. In fact the show aired for one season on WETv with Sheree listed as an Executive Producer, but hasn't been heard from since. So it seems that Sheree has great concepts, it's just the execution of those concepts that seems to need some guidance. Hence why she didn't get that pre-nup before executing that marriage to Bob.

Protect Yourself

People change all the time.
We fall in love.
We grow out of love.
Our goals and dreams evolve and sometimes our partners don't evolve with us, which leads to anger and resentment and occasionally divorce.

Evolving doesn't or not evolving doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you aren't the person you were yesterday, last week, three months ago or 5 years ago. Sometimes the person you signed on to spend the rest of your life with doesn't mesh with the new you, and you decide that it's best to end your legal bond and that can lead to some harsh realities if you don't have "an insurance policy".

Your spouse may want more than you feel they deserve or are willing to give.
You may feel you deserve more from your spouse than they are legally bound to pay.
You may have to "downsize" your living accommodations, and "adjust" your means of transportation.
You may have to figure out how to earn a living and care for your own expenses.

UNLESS . . . .

You protect yourself.

How Sway?

"Ball on a Budget" even if you ain't got one! You don't have to spend every dime as soon as it touches your hand! For every dollar you get, put a quarter in a savings account until you have enough to put in an investment account. Reinvest the monthly/quarterly/annual dividends back into your investment account instead of spending it. There is no such thing as "Free Money".

Establish credit accounts in your own name. Establishing or Reestablishing credit after a long hiatus is the hardest thing in the world to do, and you don't want to find yourself unable to get a mortgage, rent an apartment, or buy a car because you have no credit history.

If you have a business idea, pursue that. Your spouse can even provide input and assistance and even invest in it, just make sure that you are the majority owner (even if it's a 51/49 spit, that 1% makes a big difference) and that there is a legal contract outlining what his/her ROI (Return On Investment) will be and time frame for that return.

You just don't want to be sitting across the table from your spouse with them screaming at you "You Want What?"

Want to read more about these celebrities and more? See the links below:
Kendu Issacs Alimony Request
Kendu Issacs
Sherri Shepherd Settlement
Lamar Sally
Sheree Whitfield Expectations
Sheree's Bella Azul (closed)
10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces
17 Most Expensive Divorces of All Time

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